Chapter by chapter.

"Change is a funny thing. We never are quite sure what we are becoming or even why. Then one day we look at ourselves and wonder who we are and how we got that way. Only one thing about change remains constant...it is always painful."

I suppose the only thing which is painful, is the fact that we became so comfortable with who we've become, that we find it hard to accept change, and become someone who we can be, when in fact that whole time, we thought who we were, was the only person we are.

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Wow, time flies. It's the 15th today. Fifteenth. I'm not sure when's prelims and the big As nor do i want to know. This apathy is just ...... eating me up.

So much've happened. So, let's just keep it under wraps? Like what's the point of erupting everything cos nothing's gonna change? Nothing.

Nothing.

Because, I'm a pessimist.

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I can't write gp essays cos apparently, they were commented that it's either too superficial or idealistic. Sigh, i gotta find balance and adopt a new perspective of issues at hand.

I've not been studying religiously since mids were over. I want to dance and compose/write more songs; i just finished another song and ming thinks that my songs are not bad :D

Time's running out and you're supposed to feel breathless during this period but i guess it's not locked into the system as of now. Tomorrow, please? Pretty please. Please, i beg of you.

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I love conversations which last for hours but it really didn't feel that it stretched that long.

Like i talked to leah for like 3 hours plus by the pool at her place and it really felt short. Going to swim with her tmr! :D

And long conversations with ming, especially that day when we were talking about things related to friendships.

She's such a rare jewel i swear, and i know, i really know that she's one who will really stay come whatever. You've made such a great impact in my life, and i'm sure i did to yours too. Hahaha.

Our exchange of 'love you bestie' everytime we part makes me feel that i'm not alone in this battle, and please be assured you're not too cos i'm always by your side if you need me :D

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I only know now of life that plays us like puppets, strangled by the string around our necks so we choke on every attempt to make it someplace safe.

This is control staring at me in my own helplessness. And I finally know what optimism is for but I don't feel much like anything tonight.

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Anyway i really don't like this whole thing of "Omg you're so fake and i hate you and we're never even friends to start with(behind your back kinda thing) but appear nice(okay relatively colder than before)".

Disgusting, isn't it?

Oh come on, don't even try to be bitchy or somewhere along that line cos i have so much more bitchier and sluttier friends who are so much cooler than you so don't even start embarrassing yourself thank you a million :D

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So people come and go. Some go after making a difference in your life while others just slip through your fingers and soon you forget about them.

Sometimes forgiving is remembering. I don't know what you're carrying around or how long you've been carrying it around.

But as we journey through life, we get hurt and we get wounded, we end up carrying this debts that people owe us.

It's like we carry them with us wherever we go and after a while these bags get heavy don't they?

And they can end up making the journey exhausting.

So may you forgive as you've been forgiven. May you give to others what has been given to you. May you set someone free and find out that it was you.

And may you do it today because you might not have a chance tomorrow.