with hope

these few weeks have not been good, they were not hell-ish enough as what they're supposed to be. like it's so weird how i want eyebags and hell days of hardcore revision instead of other things. i get rather pissed when others are hardcore-ing and my rate is not really hardcore-ish RAH

yes get me right. i want MORE EYEBAGS AND HELL DAYS PLEASE. it scares me how apathetic and indifferent i can be, how relatively calm and relaxed i am right now. oh god please make me panic like crazy and make me study till i turn crazy these last weeks and get me to where i want to be. but please make me calm and composed during exams. Amin.

i don't know how i'll do, everything is just uncertain and clear. but i'll just leave everything to You, cos You know what's best for me; i trust You.