"I don't want to, but i have to"

Hi i'm woebegone and sad, clubbing later better kick ass. (although i think it will be packed and smelly tsk)

Anyway sal and i went back to ws to get my O level cert yesterday cos i thought i haven't collected it. but apparently i did, so since i can't find it at home, i've misplaced it! (oh and i'm not sad because of this -.-)

and we saw this huge board besides the office! i was eggggggcited and went like OMG OMG cos it's been so long since i came back and it wasn't up yet when i left.

i think that's the coolest thing that happened to me :D i only told very few people about this in pj cos i don't think many would believe HAHA, given my rowdy and noisy character who is not disciplined and is totally not a model student. i think i changed alot, because i was sick of caring too much(pride, fame, reputation) which i did back in ws. so, in pj, i chose not to care and be oblivious to my surrounding which can be a positive thing, actually!

okay gonna eat then out.

Life's a playground.

Hi i'm exhausted, and i think i have insomnia. Like i may be really tired but i just can't sleep for nuts sake i've no idea why geez :(

And i've alot of pictures to upload and then post it here but i'm too lazy hahaha. They should be in fb or there soon enough. but i don't think i'll put everything up, especially my clubbing pictures which are a bit ........ wild and obscene. and besides, my sister and my brother are my fb friends and i don't want them to see those pictures! wooooo sneaky.

ahhhh the balcony with clar(who i think is very cute) jerm and yuan and we played some games where we had to confess alot of hmm, stuffs. what's said there remains in there! outing with sal today and it was fun love ya man. watched the Yes Man which was funny but perhaps, okay, overall. went to various places and i'm zonked out to explain. so tada.

okay plans :

wed (tmr) : countdown and club!

thurs : club!

fri : karaoke and out with sis(cutting my hair for NS maybe, sadzzzz)

sat: club!

sun : club! (tentative, or hang out with gd friends FOR THE LAST TIME before NS)

mon : outing with ming and drop by for class gathering at night if there's time

OKAY DONE. and after that, I WILL BE ENLISTED ON TUESDAY, THE NEXT DAY. woo hoo i'm totally excited for NS. can you tell can you tell. NOT.

Attached ..... to a book.

Patterson's awesome; i want more but i'm gonna be done with his book like damn soon argh not cool. and i'm such a weird shit i refuse to finish up the book yesterday when i actually could, just because i know if i'm done with it, i'll feel pretty lost and upset cos his book's really good. love the twists, such a classic page-turner.

but i think i'll have to move on and finish it up(as much as i don't want to) and continue with others which are waiting patiently awwww. sentimental value. HAHAHA joke.

and i want to dye my hair!!! which i think is dumb cos i'll have to get it like removed by 6th of jan. but fuck that date, i think i'll just do it. and i want to club club club before i get enlisted. get yourself free from 1st of jan till the 5th!

p/s : oh did i tell you? i clubbed the other day and got my ass groped by this guy. omg scream MOLEST.

Oooh Merry Xmas!

hello i think it's kinda boring to like update about what you did where you went to and then like infest the entry with pictures and whatnot. tsk maybe its not my thing. and its not exactly interesting either to pour out your woes and be a wuss.

geez, i am actually lazy to blog. but i have to add, Patterson's awesome. Cheers.

I don't think i can decide ):

I'm smiling gleefully, grinning from ear to ear and am feeling all woozy inside.

Aww S & S are the sweetest people on earth i'm dyinggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg how how how which one which one?

HI SAL I MISS YOU BUT YOU ARE OVERSEAS ):

omg i made friends from aussie and hawaii from isketch(LEAH THANKS HAHAHA there are actually chatrooms!) and we've chatted in msn and they're really really nice and like wow okay.

and atiqah ho just called to ask me out for clubbing like now right now when i'm so not prepared for everything and like by then it will be 2am when i reach there so 2 hours is totally not enough to club damnit. NEXT TIME BEEECH

back to reading :D

Nay.

i really hate it when books(and even television programmes) drag on and on and on about what happened(the middle part and the climax cos they're apparently more interesting, righttt) and make it so drama-mama and emotional till you're imbued with err, overwhelming emotions(RIGHT) but they end off in a very sudden and abrupt manner, making me go HUHHH all the time. like please man, what's wrong with a detailed yet interesting ending? cannot meh? very hard is it? i think i've encountered such instances too many times and it should stop! piang eh, i think it is damn irritating.

i actually just wanted to say that the book which i just finished, SUCKS.

Boats and birds.

Hi i'm insanely excited over clubbing plans next week :D and i can't wait to shop and club and have the time of my life before i get enlisted with a revelation which is creepily crawling behind my shadow at a faster speed as seconds pass by ):

okay the chalet was ........

full of booze, nice mixers, winding staircase, comfortable beds, nice decor, cozy, bbq-ed foods, awkwardness, boring, weird people, heavy smokers, second-hand smoke which shortened my life span by 5 years, gambling, drunker stupor, cozy, 'i wanna go home', weird, mixed feelings, hugs, camwhore, nice pictures, cards, magic, cool magicians, bimbo moments, 'OMG HOW DID YOU DO THAT', tricks, hungry, super hungry, drenched, embarrassing moments, thank God a million for jack & jovan who stayed over as well!

it was not really a good experience but heck it, pictures! am too lazy to upload all of them, and besides, some are not with me yet. most of the pictures are only of me and hanisa and the funniest part was the latter told me that her mum wants to set her up with me cos her mum thinks i'm cute and we're close HAHAHA JOKE. okay enough talking

the rest of the pictures here. eh i actually uploaded quite a lot man



the birthday girl!



hanisa!



i think this is nice.



:D



SHE LOOKS WEIRD.

yin & yang.

i like this! do you?

Hahehihu.

this is v random, but it turned out nice (to me) :D

mask.

HUH.

i look .... weird.

i love this! we look ... v happy!

:D

trio.

like this!

this is okay.....

I LOVE THEM.

we took this kinda shot like a couple of times, cos we thought it was nice!

in the cab.

OKAY DONE. like i've said, there's more here. Excited for tmr, sexy time.

Aloha.

Entry about chalet with pics up next!

In the meantime, HELLO! Lol apparently i received like some Good Progress Award thing which was a big big big shock and surprise. Great, 200 bucks more to shop! :D

And fb is damn slow i think a baby crawls 78932 times faster. I have like close to 700 requests and it's such a pain in the ass to manually accept/ignore them one by one. Wa piang ehzxzxzx

Fast one.

Stayover at east coast yesterday wasn't awesome. the company was okay, the food was okayyyyyy. but sleeping sucks like crap cos the floor was so hard i almost died sleeping and i think my bones nearly cracked. thank God for home, i literally couldn't wait to crash on my comfortable bed :D

okay chalet tmr i hope it's fun IT BETTER BE.

Continued from the previous post.

And it's gonna be 4 am and i'm still chatting with the new friend i made and it's been 5 hours and counting and i can't believe how open we are.

omg i told her stuffs i don't even tell to a good friend of 2 years. this is insane.

The world is ....... crazy.

zomg i was chatting with a friend who said that her friend wants to add me which i was fine with and so her friend did and like it was very random and all. i think she's really funny and nice but the most fascinating fact is that ........

in her exact words - "i'm currently having a sexual relationship with a hot 33 year old male sex escort. nothing emotional though. AHAHAHHA"

OMG right. like i have friends who are wild who sleep around but i still love them cos they're hot and actually nice but this one takes the cake.

AND THE GUY CHARGES HER FOR 200 AN HOUR!!!

DAN WHERE ARE YOU?

hi it's my third entry of the day and my parents have been bugging me to get off from the internet cos i've been using it from like omg i don't know when.

i've actually lost track of time, dates and days. and i actually love it when life's like this, cos everything's just unplanned and uncertain. when you're just riding along with it with no expectations, cos expectations = hope = possibility of disappoinment or be immersed in a state of denial = life's not cool

and i just talked to Mirabel(i miss her!) and she asked me out for a christmas party tomorrow and i totally did not see that coming. but tough luck, it clashes with my East Coast stayover tmr ))))):

hi daniel if you're reading this I MISS YOU SERIOUSLY where have you been?!! )))): are you like out of singapore or something? and hi greg LET'S CLUB ASAP.

Just like we used to.

Ditched my sister for shopping today because i wanna have a good rest and laze around and do nothing and live life as it is because i don't really like the hustle-bustle of city life.

Okay, sleepover at East Coast tmr if all goes well, then chalet sleepover on mondayyyyyyy i hope it's fun even though i don't know like 70% of the people there omgzz.

and i've realised that i have actually not worked before my whole life, not even after O levels, i know i'm such a lazy assss.

wait, i actually have this 'job' experience but i'm not calling it a proper job because i left after an hour plus! i was a promoter for some kids stuffs and i think it was tooooooooooooooooooo embarrassing so like after working for an hour or so, i had a break which i happily went and never came back. i left for good! i know it sounds irresponsible but heck man, i think my face matters more than anything else.

and i'm extremely lazy to read i have like novels waiting for me to give them a touch of hope and enlightenment but i think they're better off waiting, till the end of time. zzzz

I love my mum more than anything else.

My mum is the cutest on earth.

Yesterday, my mum asked me if i wanna follow my parents to East Coast today for fun cos they wanna swim and like chill/slack. Of course, i rejected cos i don't wanna disturb them hee hee hee.

Then i said to my mum.

Me : "Wah, romantic man like that".

Mum : "Of course! Make love ah!" *with her cute expressions and like ready to dance*

HAHAHAHA omg mum you are so hornyyyyyyyy HAHAHAHAHAHAA

Ina asked me out for clubbing tonight but i politely declined her because i still don't feel well. i think i need to drink like 2 1.5litres bottles of water every single day(which i'm doing) or else i will feel feverish. omg hello, i'm a loser.

i totally don't feel like going to NS. ah...

FUCK THAT.

Pissed.

hi i think i'm having a fever(!!!) which i think is caused by too much rest and i'm chatting with this irritating shit on msn and it totally make things worse/worst and like facebook is super slow i think it's the laptop omg if it costs a hundred bucks i would have slammed it on my wall and kicked it everywhere after like stepping on it a gazilion times.

and i have 1108 emails and 620 requests on facebook to clear i'm extremely lazy and i shall just let it be.

Take it back.

hello sometimes i really don't know what my dad is thinking and it really doesn't help that he's totally a one-word man so like grr the friction's not gonna end but somehow i don't really care i'm cool with it.

okay i have sooooooooooooo many pictures to upload and i'm very lazy so i shall just upload those I THINK are nice(might be ugly to you though).

okay i should sleep. and bestie I MISS YOU TOO!!

Tsk.

omg gym and swimming like very soon. rah but i''m super lazy and sleepy though i slept for like 10 and a half hours wth.

okay some stupid random thing which i saw in a friend's blog. wasted 2 minutes of my life.

Lets101 - Free Dating Site

My sex appeal is 8.2 out of 10.
Ladies beware!!!

Lets101 - free online dating

i know. rolls eyes. but singlehood is the bomb so yes :D (although i have a date next week hur)

Alive, but am not living.

sometimes i think i don't have a purpose in life. and to have such a realisation, when you're 18, is really undesirable and uncool. like how i'm just living because i have to, because i know this is the only chance i have, because .......

it feels like there's no end, no exit; just stretches of road - trudging, falling, standing up again, falling again, standing up again, and again this whole never-ending cycle repeats itself because ...

it is just the nature of life. it just is.

and it really irks me so bad when i realise i don't know what i want at this juncture in life. like when i'm being asked 'so what do you want to do', i'll be 'hmm, just whatever my grades can get me to'. or previously, i'll be like 'well, psychology! or comm studies!'. no, not anymore.

having no purpose in life makes me feel like there's so many options and alternatives out there to explore, but then again, it makes me feel like i'm doing it for others. like since i don't know what i want, let's just give other influential parties to decide.

i feel so confused and fickle-minded. i have no idea where i'm heading to.

just ride with the waves.

Short term memory.

Today is actually one of the very few days that i was at home the whole day and it's not fun at all. i think i hate home, and i loathe my dad cos he's such a nehneh, for the lack of a nicer word.

rahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

okay i'm such a lazy shit today i did not even finish my novel wtf and like i did not even home gym cos i was just toooooooooo lazy to lift the dumbbells(spelling?) so yeah. but gym and swimming tomorrow! and a live gig? cos jack wants us to bring our guitars. if i can find the guitar bag, i'll bring it.

and the best part is I CAN'T REMEMBER MY SONGS. if you may/may not know, i've composed like 4 songs which i've played for my friends (if you have not listened to it, you're not my good friend hur) but now i've never played for 789432 years and i don't write them down so i forgot already!

shit then tmr play what! twinkle twinkle little stars?

Link to the previous post.

okay it's like 4 plus and i think i'm tired enough and so, i can sleep. good morning world.

i actually didn't really enjoy today's outing, seriously. okay but whatever it's donee. and i'm very hungry now and even though today was totally fatssssss day, i don't care i'm still eating because i love carbs and food.

and i'm still in my towels and i haven't showered since i came back and i'm very lazy! you know, i think i'm quite weird in a way because i always worry every single night that i won't be able to sleep.

i think i have insomnia.

like i'm scared that i can't sleep so i must make sure i tire myself every night in a way. tsk. and like when i woke up the next morning, i always have this feeling like 'eh i actually slept!' like in a very surprising manner.

omgz damn weird. i want to watch twilight and wildchild! and i love maria! :D

I don't know what to wear later! Rah this is so not cool.

AND I HATE MY HAIR I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH IT. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech

Am meeting maria and gang after nic and gang later i am very sexcited. And i've decided to be nice so instead of shopping for myself, i will shop for presents - birthdays and christmas! And i feel like eating Jap today, wait i dun mind Italian too. :D

And my pimple is a whore. While i was washing my face with my cleanser yesterday, this particular pimple popped and burst! wtf. and it happened like just ONE day before i'm going out. wa piang eh you nehneh it's totally not cool leh like that also no time to heal omg later the pictures will be uglehhhhhhhhh freak

okay and since i'm always late, i dont wish to be late today so i woke up earlier! but heck i am very sleepy and i slept at three so i shall just continue sleeping now HAHA byee

p/s : i just saw luo er's blog for her prom photos(cj) and the prom queen, sonia, is DAMN GORGEOUS. omgzzzz

Random shit.

According to your age, list down the number of things that most people don't know about you. And then tag 5 people.

I've no idea what people don't know about me. So i'll just list stuffs about me, things you may or may not know already.

1) I want to be closer to God.
2) I'm not a himbo just because i say the stupidest things on earth OKAY.
3) I don't really like Singapore. But i'm really thankful for the peace and security here.
4) I'm very very fickle-minded. But i think i've improved.
5) I loves parties/I love to club.
6) OMG I HATE 6TH OF JANUARY. I DON'T WANT TO BE SHUT FROM THE WORLD AND SUFFER.
7) I think alot, mostly unimportant stuffs.
8) I form judgements easily, and i stick by them vehemently. But i think i've improved.
9) I don't know what i want to do in life. I feel lost.
10) My ambitions change as fast as you change your panties/boxers/briefs even though i may seem very firm about it initially.
11) I love taking pictures/camwhores, and i think my friends hate me for this. HAHA.
12) I love to shop.
13) I want a hot bod and a flawless complexion. I bet you've heard this a million times.
14) I hate to be in a relationship, because i don't think i can commit. And, my feelings change pretty fast. I need to improve.
15) To some, i'm perceived to be superficial/fake but i think i'm just honest or rather, brutally honest.
16) If i'm at loggerheads with a person, i don't want to talk to him/her at all. It can take Forever. So, i think i can be quite petty. But i think i've improved.
17) I love bitches/sluts cos i think most of them are hot.
18) I love to read - novels, fashion magazines, blogs, whatever. I just hate it when i have to read to remember.

I shall not tag anyone cos i think this wastes time. Shopping tomorrow!