it's gonna be THREE AM.

I'm the epitome of laziness and stupid excuses.

I hate it how uninspired i can be. I've realised that without inspiration, i can't do many things. It's like this strong prominent force controlling everything that i do. But upon scrutiny, with the apparently formidable education system that we have, who cares about anything else other than your grades huh huh huh?

No inspiration? Don't want study? Simple : You suffer.

And that's the woebegone, inexorable part. There's more to life than simply As(and Bs!) man.

But i guess it's all about how much you really want it. I realised that if it's something within my scope of interests(like swimming, modelling), i'll give allllllll i can no matter what it takes. But when it comes to studying, my lackadaisical attitude is just overwhelming. It has to stop, like seriously. It's like i know how much i really want this, but i'm not putting words into action. I have to do something about it. God, with Your help? Definitely.

I did not do a single work today damnit shitshit, wasted so much time on finding blogskins but ended up with nothing. Anyway, i think this girl is awesome. I.must.stop.youtubing.this.is.suicidal.



It's gonna be three am and i'm still wide awake without any work done i feel like a primary school kid who is enjoying life like there's no tmr ttm.

Shit i must stop feeling insecure already it's grossing me out like i just go wahhhhhh at all those hot people with looks AND brains AND body AND bucks AND an interesting social life like everything's so perfect but who are you kidding they must be lacking something right!

God is fair, in any way that He wants it to be.

Maybe, i just have to come to terms with whatever's happening. There's no point in feeling unworthy or lousy or whatever related because this whole cycle is never-ending. Unless, you decide to eradicate that perception or mentality, it'll always bog you down. It's definitely Man's innate trait to think enough is never enough. But, to be contented is another issue altogether. It's blatantly obvious that we're grappling with this, but i really hope that one day, i'll wake up with a smile that glows and speaks of pure satisfaction with everything that i have.

You know, i thank God for today especially(and everyday obviously). Even though it has been so unproductive and banal, i've pulled a good friend back to my shore. I've realised that there's no point bearing grudges because it just shows how immatured you are. We're blossoming into charming adults and with that, there's no room to be petty.

Wednesday with my Jap you-know-who at town! Kinda nervous but pretty excited actually. Hope it'll be good!

cos you know
you're all that i need